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What are common female sexual fantasies according to surveys?
Executive summary
Surveys and academic studies consistently find that most people — including the large majority of women surveyed — report having sexual fantasies, with prevalence estimates commonly in the 90–97% range across populations [1]. Common themes identified across multiple instruments and surveys include oral sex, receiving sexual attention, submission/domination scenarios, forbidden or “taboo” situations, and coercive/rape-themed fantasies in a substantial minority of women (studies vary: examples include 52–62% reporting some rape fantasy in specific samples) [2] [3] [4] [5] [6].
1. How common are sexual fantasies among women? — They’re the rule, not the exception
Large-sample questionnaire research reports that erotic fantasizing is extremely common: many reviews and validation studies say roughly 90–97% of people report sexual fantasies, and specific validation samples include over a thousand women in recent instrument work (e.g., SDEF studies with 1,135 women) [1] [7]. This body of work frames fantasies as a near-universal aspect of sexual experience rather than an outlier behavior [1].
2. Which specific fantasies show up most often? — A consistent core plus variation by method
Multiple inventories and surveys identify a set of frequently reported themes: receiving oral sex and other common sexual acts rank near the very top; submission/ domination and power dynamics are also commonly reported; “forbidden” or taboo themes and sensory extremes appear across instruments (examples: FSFQ and Wilson-based lists; internet surveys) [5] [6] [8]. A U.S. poll of ~1,000 participants found gender differences in specific acts (e.g., oral and anal preferences differed by gender percentages), while larger psychometric questionnaires categorize fantasies into dimensions such as genital, sensual, sexual power, sexual suffering, and forbidden activity [2] [6].
3. Coercive or “rape” fantasies — prevalence, nuance, and scientific framing
Multiple academic studies report that coercive or “rape” fantasies are present for a notable minority to majority of women in some samples: one investigation of undergraduates reported 62% had experienced a rape fantasy [4], while reporting in a different study summarized by Psychology Today cited percentages like 52% for fantasies about forced sex and lower rates for forced oral/anal [3]. Researchers emphasize nuance: fantasies exist on an erotic–aversive continuum (some are experienced as partly aversive, partly erotic) and should not be equated with real-world desire for nonconsensual behavior; the literature explicitly cautions against conflating fantasy content with endorsement of assault [4] [3].
4. Measurement matters — survey method shapes what’s reported
Findings vary by instrument, sample, and wording. Clinical and psychometric tools (e.g., SDEF, SDEF2, FSFQ, the Sex Fantasy Questionnaire) produce structured dimensions and were validated on thousands in recent studies, while shorter internet polls or media surveys (e.g., Bedbible’s 1,001 respondents) report different prevalence estimates and gender splits [7] [1] [2] [5]. Academic scales often report multidimensional structures (genital, sensual, power, suffering, forbidden) that capture complexity missed by single-question polls [6] [1].
5. Gender differences and diversity of experience — broad patterns, many exceptions
Comparative research finds both overlap and gender differences: some fantasies (e.g., receiving oral sex) are very common for both sexes, while others (anal sex, certain power themes) show gendered prevalence differences in some surveys [2] [5]. Psychometric validation studies also report differences by sexual orientation and sociodemographic variables, indicating fantasies are shaped by broader personal and cultural contexts [1] [7].
6. What the sources don’t settle — limits and unanswered questions
Available sources do not mention nationally representative, cross-cultural consensus lists that would be immune to sample bias; many studies rely on convenience samples (students, web volunteers) or country-specific validations (e.g., large Italian SDEF samples) that limit generalizability [1] [7]. Media survey results (e.g., Bedbible) provide snapshots but lack the psychometric depth of validated instruments [2].
7. Takeaway for readers — interpret prevalence with care
Scientific and survey evidence converges on two clear points: sexual fantasizing is extremely common among women, and there are recurring themes (sexual acts, power dynamics, taboo scenarios) that appear across instruments [1] [6] [5]. However, prevalence numbers vary with question wording, sample, and method, and researchers caution against simplistic moral or causal interpretations — especially about coercive fantasies, which are complex and not evidence of real-world desire for assault [4] [3].