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Fact check: Is it normal to feel attracted to your own sex when you are young even if you're not gay when older

Checked on July 26, 2025

1. Summary of the results

Based on the research analyses, experiencing same-sex attraction during youth is relatively common and considered a normal part of sexual development, even for individuals who do not identify as gay or lesbian in adulthood [1]. Multiple studies confirm that sexual orientation can be fluid, especially during adolescence, with attractions and identities potentially changing over time [1] [2].

The research demonstrates that many adolescents may experience same-sex attractions without ultimately identifying as gay or lesbian in adulthood [1]. Longitudinal studies have specifically shown that sexual attractions, behaviors, and identities can change over time, particularly for young women [2]. Additionally, studies found that youths with both-sex attractions or same-sex attractions varied in their later sexual orientation, suggesting that early attractions do not definitively predict long-term sexual identity [3].

The academic literature emphasizes that sexual feelings and attractions during adolescence can be complex and varied, with young people, especially females, potentially experiencing more fluidity in their sexual attractions [4]. This research indicates that early same-sex attractions are a normal part of sexual exploration and development [2].

2. Missing context/alternative viewpoints

The original question lacks important context about the complexity of sexual orientation development during adolescence [2]. The research reveals that sexual development involves multiple dimensions - attractions, behaviors, and identity - which may not always align or remain consistent over time.

The analyses also highlight gender differences in sexual fluidity, with research specifically noting that females may experience more variability in their sexual attractions compared to males [4] [2]. This suggests that the experience may differ significantly based on gender identity.

Additionally, the research emphasizes that sexual orientation development is an ongoing process rather than a fixed determination, which provides important context for understanding adolescent sexual experiences [2].

3. Potential misinformation/bias in the original statement

The original question contains an implicit assumption that could be problematic - the framing suggests there's something abnormal about same-sex attraction in youth if one isn't "gay when older." This framing potentially reinforces heteronormative assumptions about what constitutes "normal" sexual development.

The question also implies a binary understanding of sexual orientation (gay vs. not gay) that doesn't reflect the research findings about sexual fluidity and the complexity of orientation development. The academic literature clearly shows that sexual orientation exists on a spectrum and can involve changes over time [1] [2].

Furthermore, the phrasing "even if you're not gay when older" suggests that same-sex attraction in youth should be concerning or unusual for heterosexual adults, when the research demonstrates this is actually a common and normal part of sexual development [1] [2].

Want to dive deeper?
What percentage of adolescents experience same-sex attraction without identifying as gay?
How does puberty influence sexual orientation development in teenagers?
Can early same-sex attraction predict adult sexual orientation?
What role do societal and cultural factors play in shaping adolescent perceptions of same-sex attraction?
How do parents and caregivers support children exploring their sexual orientation during adolescence?