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Fact check: I'm being unfairand controlling by insisting that my husband ho no contact with his emotional affair partner in the face of their continued denial of wrongdoing and insisting that they are just friends who flirt, pine and talk badly about me behind my back.

Checked on December 10, 2024

1. Summary of the results

1. Summary of the results:

Setting boundaries with affair partners, including emotional affairs, is a widely recognized therapeutic approach to healing marriages after infidelity. The behavior described (flirting, pining, speaking negatively about the spouse) constitutes an emotional affair, which relationship experts consider a form of infidelity that requires clear boundaries for marriage recovery.

2. Missing context/alternative viewpoints:

  • Emotional affairs often cause as much damage to marriages as physical affairs, as they redirect intimate emotional energy away from the marriage
  • The term "controlling" is frequently used by unfaithful partners as a defensive mechanism when boundaries are set, according to relationship experts
  • The husband's continued defense of inappropriate behavior suggests he may be in "affair fog" - a documented phenomenon where cheating partners rationalize their behavior
  • Professional marriage counselors specifically recommend no-contact boundaries with affair partners as a prerequisite for relationship healing
  • The affair partner's participation in disparaging the spouse indicates this is not a healthy platonic friendship

3. Potential misinformation/bias in the original statement:

The statement frames boundary-setting as "unfair and controlling" which misrepresents established therapeutic practices for affair recovery. This framing appears to adopt the perspective of the husband and affair partner, who benefit from maintaining their inappropriate relationship by making the spouse feel unreasonable. The characterization of their behavior as "just friends who flirt" minimizes actions that relationship experts clearly define as infidelity. The statement omits that maintaining contact with affair partners significantly reduces the chances of successful marriage recovery, according to relationship research.

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