So how can I test to see if that older woman I work with is interested?

1. Spot patterns, not isolated moments

Single compliments, a friendly smile, or casual chatter are normal at work and often platonic; experts advise looking for an increase in attention that feels different from how other coworkers are treated—repeated invitations to hang out outside work, requests for social handles, or consistent efforts to spend time together are stronger indicators than one-off gestures ^{[1] [5]}. Multiple sources warn that none of these cues alone proves romantic interest; the pattern and contrast with usual workplace behavior matter most ^{[1] [2]}.

2. Run low-stakes social tests

Invite the colleague to a neutral, clearly non-romantic outing (lunch, a team happy hour, or a post-work coffee) and note whether she accepts, suggests an alternative, or declines politely; accepting repeated one-on-one social invitations that extend beyond work hours is often a sign someone wants to get to know a person better ^{[1] [5]}. If she starts asking about availability or drops hints about her relationship status, that can be an explicit signal—sources identify “asking if you’re seeing anyone” as a clear move toward personal interest ^{[6] [7]}.

3. Watch microbehavior for consistent signals

Nonverbal cues—lingering eye contact, mirroring body language, leaning in during private conversations, or finding reasons for light, appropriate touch—are commonly listed as signs of attraction, but they are ambiguous and culturally variable, so combine them with other behaviors before drawing conclusions ^{[5] [2] [8]}. Also pay attention to whether she remembers small personal details or goes out of her way to help or defend you; those repeated investments in attention are frequently mentioned across relationship guides as stronger indicators ^{[2] [9]}.

4. Use indirect questions before direct declarations

If uncertainty persists after observing patterns and testing social invitations, try indirect conversational probes—mentioning dating apps in a neutral way, joking about weekend plans, or casually asking about relationship status—to see whether she reciprocates or reveals interest without putting her on the spot ^{[10] [7]}. Multiple sources advise treating anything short of a clear “yes” as a “no,” and to avoid pressuring someone into answering or revealing private information ^[10].

5. Prioritize workplace rules, consent and safety

Always keep workplace policies, potential power imbalances, and historic professional consequences in view; guidance from workplace-advice reporting reminds that if advances become unwanted or cross boundaries, HR or management is the appropriate channel, and if a manager–employee power dynamic exists it may be best to avoid escalating the situation at all ^{[3] [4]}. Consent and the ability to decline without professional repercussion are non-negotiable elements of any test or approach ^[3].

6. If interest seems mutual, proceed transparently

When signals align—regular one-on-one time outside work, reciprocal personal questions, and explicit curiosity about each other’s dating status—consider moving from testing to a brief, respectful directness: a low-pressure invitation framed so a “no” is easy and consequences are minimal (for example, “Would you like to grab dinner sometime? No worries if you’re not interested.”) Sources stress that even then, a clear affirmative response is required before assuming a relationship ^{[1] [10]}. If ambiguity remains, prioritize clarity sooner rather than later to avoid misread expectations and preserve professional rapport.