Fact check: Husband is in a monogamous relationship with me, has been for 18 years. He recently said he is polyamorous and is capable of feeling love for multiple women at a time, but he chooses to only be with me. He recently had an emotional affair that he does not consider cheating. He feels bad for hurting me, but didnt want to hurt the other women either. He has gone non contact with her, but she's still in our social circle. Is it possible to recove our marriage?

1. Summary of the results

The situation presents a complex intersection of emotional infidelity and differing relationship orientations. Marriage recovery after an emotional affair is possible, according to expert Dr. Dena DiNardo, but requires genuine commitment from both partners to improve the relationship ^[1]. The success of recovery depends heavily on having a sincere apology, viewing forgiveness as an ongoing process, and both partners being willing to examine relationship dynamics that led to the infidelity ^[2].

2. Missing context/alternative viewpoints

Several crucial pieces of context are missing from the original statement:

• Nature of Emotional Affairs: These often begin innocently but can escalate to include intimate conversations and late-night texts that cross friendship boundaries ^[3].
• Polyamory as an Orientation: Research suggests that polyamory can be an innate orientation, similar to monogamy ^[4]. This means your husband's revelation might not be a choice but rather a recognition of his natural inclinations.
• Mono/Poly Relationships: These relationships can be successful when both partners:
• Engage in transparent communication
• Establish clear boundaries
• Commit to professional counseling ^[5]
• Perform continuous emotional labor
• Regularly check in about needs, fears, and feelings ^[6]

3. Potential misinformation/bias in the original statement

The original statement presents several potential misconceptions:

1. The assumption that being polyamorous and having an emotional affair are directly related. While they may be connected in this case, they are separate issues that need to be addressed individually.

2. The implication that "choosing to only be with you" while being polyamorous is a simple choice. Sources indicate that navigating mono/poly relationships requires extensive work and communication from both partners ^[4].

3. The framing of the situation as purely about recovery, when sources suggest it might require a fundamental restructuring of relationship dynamics and expectations ^{[5] [6]}.

The success of your marriage recovery will depend on both partners' willingness to engage in open communication, establish clear boundaries, and potentially seek professional guidance to navigate these complex issues ^{[5] [1]}.