Fact check: Spouse believes that they are polyamorous, but they choose to be in a monogamous relationship while continuing to flirt outside the marriage

1. Summary of the results

The situation described appears to fundamentally misalign with the principles of ethical non-monogamy. Multiple sources consistently define ethical non-monogamy (ENM) as requiring explicit consent, honest communication, and mutual agreement from all parties involved ^{[1] [2]}. The behavior described - unilateral flirting while claiming polyamory - contradicts the core definition of polyamory as "a relationship orientation that assumes it is possible to love many people and maintain multiple intimate and sexual relationships" in an ethical, consensual manner ^[3].

2. Missing context/alternative viewpoints

Several crucial elements are missing from the original statement:

• ENM requires full transparency and consent from all parties involved ^{[1] [2]}
• There is a clear distinction between ENM and cheating, with the key difference being consent and honest communication ^[4]
• No one should feel pressured or coerced into participating in non-monogamy ^[4]
• Attempting to transition to non-monogamy through secretive behavior or cheating often leads to relationship self-destruction ^[5]

3. Potential misinformation/bias in the original statement

The original statement contains several problematic assumptions:

• It conflates polyamory with unilateral actions, when polyamory actually requires mutual consent and communication ^{[1] [2]}
• It suggests that one can "choose" to be in a monogamous relationship while maintaining behaviors that violate that agreement, which contradicts the ethical principles of both monogamy and polyamory ^[6]
• The statement implies that identifying as polyamorous justifies non-consensual outside flirting, which experts explicitly warn against ^[5]

This situation appears to be closer to infidelity than ethical non-monogamy, as it lacks the fundamental elements of consent and transparency that define ENM relationships ^{[1] [6]}.