What kinks do women prefer vs men
Executive summary
Research and popular surveys show overlap as well as gendered patterns: BDSM-related fantasies rank very high for both men and women, while men report higher rates of taboo and fetish interests (voyeurism, exhibitionism, incest, fetishism) and specific preferences like cuckolding and foot fetishes; women show relatively higher interest in outdoor/group scenarios and some unexpected areas such as sadism and certain role-play niches, though study methods matter greatly for interpretation [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]. Community-based research and sex‑research surveys underpin most claims but also reveal sampling and framing limits that can skew apparent gender differences [6] [3].
1. BDSM is the great common denominator — both sexes report it frequently
Large-scale fantasy surveys find BDSM broadly common across genders: Lehmiller’s work and summaries in popular outlets report BDSM fantasies for the vast majority of respondents, with figures cited in one synthesis showing roughly 93–96% endorsement for men and women, respectively, when BDSM is treated as a wide umbrella covering dominance, submission, and bondage [1] [7]. This means power dynamics and consensual role-play are central to contemporary descriptions of kink for people of all genders, not a male‑only phenomenon [1].
2. Men skew higher on taboo, fetishistic, and exhibitionist interests
Multiple sources report that men are more likely than women to report fantasies classified as taboo: voyeurism, exhibitionism, incest, and a range of fetishistic interests appear more common among men in survey data [2]. Specific kinks like cuckolding are reported far more often by men than women in aggregated lists and popular analyses, and foot fetishism shows a pronounced male skew in some statistics [8] [4] [5]. These patterns are consistent across media summaries of academic surveys but should be read as trends in reported fantasies rather than immutable truths about behavior [2] [4].
3. Women show higher interest in certain scenarios: outdoor sex, group dynamics, and surprising sadism findings
Polling summarized by mainstream outlets claims women’s top kink in one sample was outdoor sex, and other reporting highlights women’s frequent fantasies about threesomes and group sex—sometimes with a greater appetite for variety than stereotypes allow [3] [9] [2]. Notably, some research indicates women report sadism fantasies at unexpectedly high rates, challenging the assumption that “giving pain” is a predominantly male interest [2]. These findings come from self‑report surveys and community samples and therefore reflect expressed desires rather than universal gendered wiring [2].
4. Context matters: sampling, framing, and the kink community shape results
Studies based inside the kink community, academic papers, and dating‑site surveys produce different pictures; a paper reviewing kink‑community participants stresses that researcher assumptions and recruitment frames influence which behaviors look “common” and which look rare [6]. Some media pieces rely on dating‑site panels (e.g., a 2,000‑person IllicitEncounters poll) whose user base and question wording can bias results toward certain acts [3]. Sex‑researcher Justin Lehmiller’s broader surveys are often cited as more representative, but all self‑report methods have limits when asking about taboo or identity‑sensitive subjects [2] [1].
5. What remains unsettled and how to read headline claims
Aggregated lists and click‑friendly articles catalog hundreds of kinks and assign gender labels to some, but many sources caution against strict binaries: cuckolding may be more common among men, anime/hentai fetishizing appears more common among women in some datasets, and prevalence estimates for specific fetishes vary widely across studies and methodologies [8] [4] [5]. Where the reporting is thin, particularly for niche or culture‑specific kinks, the available sources do not definitively settle whether observed differences reflect true prevalence, social desirability in reporting, or sampling artifacts [6] [3].