Why are you so very gay

1. What "gay" means: a simple, evidence‑based definition

The mainstream definitions used by medical and advocacy groups describe gay as an identity tied to enduring romantic or sexual attraction to people of the same sex; sexual orientation is distinct from gender identity and involves attraction, behavior, and self‑identification ^{[1] [4]}. Institutions such as the American Psychological Association and health resources used in youth and clinical settings state sexual orientation refers to emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction and can be named gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, or other labels ^{[2] [5]}.

2. Why people are gay: the current scientific consensus

Researchers and major health organizations say sexual orientation is shaped by a complex mix of biology, psychology, and environment; there is no single "cause" and the precise mechanisms remain unclear, though many sex characteristics develop in utero and biology plays a strong role in researchers’ models ^{[1] [6]}. For teens and clinicians, experts emphasize that awareness of orientation often appears in adolescence and that some people’s understanding of their orientation can change over time, reflecting both stable patterns and fluid experiences ^{[1] [7]}.

3. Is being gay a choice or a pathology?

Authoritative bodies reject the idea that gay orientation is a mental illness or a simple choice; professional organizations treat sexual orientation as a normal human variation and warn against practices that attempt to change orientation, which they say are harmful ^{[2] [8]}. The historical and ongoing consensus in psychology and psychiatry is that sexual orientation is not a disorder and that discrimination against LGBT people adversely affects health and well‑being ^{[8] [9]}.

4. How language and intent matter: insult vs. inquiry

Saying "why are you so very gay" can function as an attack, a joke, or a sincere question—context determines how it is received. Available sources do not analyze that exact phrase, but resources on respectful communication recommend asking about identity only when relevant and with consent; making assumptions or using identity terms as insults contributes to stigma and the discrimination that many advocacy and health organizations work to reduce ^{[9] [5]}.

5. Social and legal context: protections and ongoing challenges

Government and civil‑society reporting shows that sexual orientation matters in policy and law: data collections and hate‑crime statutes identify sexual orientation as a protected category and use identity measures to track victimization and demographic trends ^[3]. At the same time, discrimination still occurs in schools, workplaces, and public life, which authorities note can harm mental and physical health ^{[9] [3]}.

6. What to do if you’re asking in earnest or if you’re confronted with the phrase

If your question is sincere—curiosity about why someone is gay—use it as an opportunity to listen: many experts advise centering the lived experience of the person and recognizing that sexual orientation is a personal matter that people may or may not want to discuss ^[5]. If the phrase is used as an insult, be aware that advocacy groups and health authorities identify such language as stigmatizing and potentially harmful; shifting to respectful language and understanding the definitions above reduces harm ^{[9] [2]}.

Limitations and unresolved issues

Scientific sources agree on broad strokes—orientation is a normal, complex human trait—but they also note uncertainty about precise biological and environmental mechanisms and that experiences vary across individuals and cultures ^{[1] [8]}. Available sources do not address the specific rhetorical or cultural history of the exact wording you used; they focus on definitions, causes in general terms, and health and policy implications (not found in current reporting).